First Christmas

Despite the weeks of preparation, Christmas Day is over before it really even felt like it started. As I sit…

Despite the weeks of preparation, Christmas Day is over before it really even felt like it started. As I sit cuddled on the only section of couch not cluttered with the evidence of a Christmas well-enjoyed, I have all the thoughts. All the emotions.

It’s the morning after Christmas. Baby P’s first Christmas. There are stacks of gifts, some still unopened, in every corner of the living room. This year was the year of books, boots, and essential oils.

I received three insanely comfortable pairs of boots to wear to … no where. Let’s be honest. I go nowhere.

And stacks of books and new journals.


And bottles upon bottles of essential oils.

“Y’all are about to be cured,” I threatened my people, as I sniffed the chakra balancing oil set.

And while my family scored a home run on the gift giving this year, nothing quite prepared me for what I will remember about this Christmas.


It won’t be the anxiety I felt about allowing people outside of my household near my newborn during a pandemic. It won’t be that dinner was ready three hours later than I wanted or that my family stayed well beyond when I would have preferred. It won’t even be the books that will undoubtedly have a profound impact on the way I see my world.

Instead, it will be the sound of Baby P’s giggles as his big sister made silly faces and tickled his soft belly. It will be the glimmer of love in his eyes as he watched his big sister intently. And it will be the love in my heart that grew exponentially as my first-born helped her baby brother celebrate his first Christmas.

When N was born, I was adamant about “one and done.” So stubborn about it that it took nearly a decade to be convinced that perhaps, maybe, I could possibly want a second. In fact, I believe we were in the hospital waiting for Baby P’s arrival when I said aloud, “I’m not sure about being a mama to two …”

But 7 weeks later, I couldn’t be more sure that this is the right life for me. My two children – and the opportunity to witness the love growing between them – that is truly the greatest gift and will forever be my most cherished memory from Baby P’s first Christmas.


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