Our families and our relationships are often our lifelines - the reason we get up in the morning and the reason we keep moving forward. Those relationships should help us fill our cup and provide us with the fuel to continue our growth. Here at The Burnt Bean, we believe that in order for you to feel confident in your self and your ability to excel, you need to feel safe at home and in your relationships. Here, you'll find the strategies you need to get (and give) the most out of your relationship with your spouse, your children, your family, and your friends.

  • Another Year Gone

    Another Year Gone

    Dear Danielle, I thought that as the years went by, it would get easier. I mistakenly thought that today would just be another day. When Tyler asked me yesterday how I was doing, knowing your birthday was today, I shrugged, said I felt fine. Today would have been your 37th …
  • 7 Practices to Improve Intuition

    7 Practices to Improve Intuition

    This post contains affiliate links and we may earn compensation when you make a purchase using the links included in this post, at no additional cost to you. When dealing with matters of the heart, I’ve learned that I have to wade through the anxiety to find the true intuition. …
  • Let Your Kids Fail

    Let Your Kids Fail

    It’s in your grace where they learn to succeed. We all want to protect our children – it’s who we are as parents. They are your flesh, your blood, your sleepless nights, and all of your shining moments. Those kids sitting in front of you covered in jelly and powdered …
  • The Stories we Tell Ourselves

    The Stories we Tell Ourselves

    What stories do you tell yourself? Are you aware that you even have a story? When we can separate ourselves from our stories, we can sidestep an imminent argument Yesterday afternoon, after a few hours of work, my phone rang. It was the HVAC technician telling me he arrived for …
  • Parents: It’s Our Job to Bolster and Protect the Mental Health of Our Children

    Parents: It’s Our Job to Bolster and Protect the Mental Health of Our Children

    Especially now, when their world has been turned upside down It wasn’t until my daughter sat silently in the backseat of the car with tears streaming down her face that I realized she was as anxious and overwhelmed by today’s new world as we are. As an educator, I’m embarrassed …
  • Things to Do During Social Distancing That Aren’t Binge Watching Netflix

    Things to Do During Social Distancing That Aren’t Binge Watching Netflix

    As an American, our duty right now is to social distance. Whether you believe this is serious or not, our government officials and health organizations do think this is serious. Until they understand the complexities of the new COVID-19 and just how serious this is STAY HOME. This doesn’t mean …
  • The Primitive Bug Badge

    The Primitive Bug Badge

    Perhaps I’m coming on a little strong. It is Monday morning, after all. And I’m aware that the Girl Scouts organization has made strides in furthering the access to STEAM educational resources and has built a community focused on building the leadership and entrepreneurial skills of our young female generations. …
  • Transformation 2020 – Step 4: Setting Intentions

    Transformation 2020 – Step 4: Setting Intentions

    A few months ago, I was listening to The Adult Chair podcast titled The Power of Intentions. In this podcast, Michelle Chalfant described the difference between a resolution and an intention, and immediately I was hooked. We all know that resolutions don’t work – most of the time. If you …
  • Transformation 2020 – Step 3: Make a Declaration

    Transformation 2020 – Step 3: Make a Declaration

    Today is the day that you decide who you are and where you want to go. If you’ve been following along with the steps to transform your life in 2020, you reflected on the past year and reminded yourself of your values. Now it is time to turn those values …
  • Transformation 2020 – Step 2: Examine Your Values

    Transformation 2020 – Step 2: Examine Your Values

    In July 2009, I was on a plane on my way to Spain. I was running away from another failing relationship, spending money I didn’t really have to spend, and hiding from the truth I would only come to recognize six years later: I needed to change my life. I …
  • Transformation 2020 – Step 1: Self-Reflection

    Transformation 2020 – Step 1: Self-Reflection

    I’m ashamed to report that a majority of my adult life – the time between my high school graduation and my 30th birthday – I didn’t know the power of reflection. I assumed that everything that was happening in my life was a result of things happening TO me, that …
  • What Does 2020 Look Like for You?

    What Does 2020 Look Like for You?

    Let’s be honest. 2019 was rough. Based on the posts, funny memes, and comments I see as I scroll through FaceBook, most of you will agree. 2020 cannot get here soon enough. For many, midnight on New Year’s Eve ushers in a new beginning, a new year, a new chance …
  • 5 Reasons Every Couple Should Attend Couple’s Therapy

    5 Reasons Every Couple Should Attend Couple’s Therapy

    This post contains affiliate links and we may earn compensation when you make a purchase using the links included in this post, at no additional cost to you. Therapy. When you say that word in a conversation, one of two things typically happens: Therapy?! For what? Your life is so …
  • My Chronic Pain is Manageable

    My Chronic Pain is Manageable

    – and other lies I tell myself The pain is excruciating. I can barely breathe. It is so bad that I chose to take a painkiller today – something I don’t ever do because I hate painkillers. I hate the way that painkillers change my mood. I hate how they …
  • Always the Perfect Mama

    Always the Perfect Mama

    “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” She said it so casually, and I wish it were true. N recently turned 7. She’s growing so fast, and I love it. People tell me not to wish the years away, but truth be told, I can’t wait until she’s a teenager. You …
  • See the Need. Be the Change.

    See the Need. Be the Change.

    To The Man Stranded at the Gas Station: I saw you when I first pulled in. You were pacing around the gas station, phone in hand, anxiously scrolling. It was clear that you were making phone calls, and whoever you were calling wasn’t answering. I watched you approach another man …
  • Panic Attacks and Failure

    Panic Attacks and Failure

    Remember that day that I was bragging about my accomplishments and my dedication to my commitment? I was so proud. And like I said in that post, pride is one of those seven deadly sins. And probably for a good reason. Maybe I put out a bad vibe in the …
  • Being Proud of Your Commitment

    Being Proud of Your Commitment

    I’m going to brag for a minute because I’m proud of myself. Proud. It’s been made out to be such a dirty word – it’s unbecoming to be proud of oneself. It’s considered a deadly sin, to be proud. But when you work your ass off and you start seeing …
  • I Said “No.”

    I Said “No.”

    Have you ever agreed to do something and immediately regretted doing so? Welcome to my life. I do it almost daily because I don’t like telling people “no” – I worry that they won’t like me. I don’t want them to think I am not a team player. I want …
  • Kill Them With Kindness

    Kill Them With Kindness

    We took N and a friend to a Fall Festival today nearby. It was crowded and the lines were long, but the joy on my sweet girl’s face when she was finally called up to get her face painted was worth every second in line. The delicious (and totally sugar-packed) …
  • Paralyzed by Fear

    Paralyzed by Fear

    Where most people see peace, I feel fear. My heartbeat, pulsing in my ears, is deafening. The hair on the back of my neck stands at attention as a shiver runs down my spine. Sweat collects in the folds of my clenched palms and adrenaline floods my veins, making my …
  • 5 Tips for Surviving Single Parenthood

    5 Tips for Surviving Single Parenthood

    I recently had a friend send me a text: “Hey gf,” it started. “Think I could vent to you some time on the phone about how freakin hard it is to do this parenting thing alone? I feel like nobody can get it unless you’ve been there. So happy you’ve …
  • When Your Baby is Hurting

    When Your Baby is Hurting

    She was quiet when she got in the car. It was only the second week of school, and I could tell something was off. “How was your day, love?” I asked N, knowing full well that this isn’t the question that is going to get me answers. “Fine,” she responded, …
  • When Danielle Shows Up

    When Danielle Shows Up

    I’m not a very spiritual person. Sometimes I say this matter-of-factly, other times I say this out of exasperation, other times I say it wistfully. It’s not that I don’t believe in a higher power, because I think I do. I know that I don’t buy all of the religious …
  • Let Children be Children

    Let Children be Children

    As I waited for my healthy dinner of take-out tacos from a gas station to be prepared, I scrolled through my Facebook feed, and I came across a post from Assignment: Mom, my latest mom blog obsession. A few weeks ago, as parents were posting happy pictures of their children …
  • When the Wall Goes Up

    When the Wall Goes Up

    Thank God for Ke$ha. First, damn, that girl can sing. But most importantly, she has a way of finding the inner peace hidden deep within my soul on even the shittiest of days and bringing it to the forefront. It may take playing “Praying” on repeat my entire drive into …
  • Meet Danielle

    Meet Danielle

    Danielle is colorful. She’s vibrant. She’s energetic, and she’s loud AF. You hear her long before you see her – or at least you used to. Danielle is my only cousin on my dad’s side, daughter of my dad’s sister. Part Puerto Rican, half black, and a full New Yorker, …
  • Accepting Vulnerability

    Accepting Vulnerability

    Vulnerability. It’s a scary word with so many negative connotations. Most humans, I feel, try to avoid feeling vulnerable. We’re scared of what could happen if we allow ourselves to feel any hint of vulnerability. In my non-therapist opinion, I believe that vulnerability is the start to every argument, disagreement, …
  • When Exhaustion Meets Anxiety

    When Exhaustion Meets Anxiety

    Tyler and I both suffer from anxiety – his typically worse than mine because it’s coupled with severe depression. For the most part, I am usually understanding, patient, comforting, and encouraging. And then there are the times when I am not any of those things.  Like today. When my exhaustion …
  • The time I was convinced N was going to be abducted

    The time I was convinced N was going to be abducted

    There are really only three things that can get my anxiety at a paralyzing level: my daughter, our financial situation, and Tyler. Anxiety about anything else is usually managed – I’ll be cranky, angry, or sad, but I can get through my day and pretend I’m OK when needed. But …
  • To Have and to Hold, from this Day Forward, you will be my Drug Mule

    To Have and to Hold, from this Day Forward, you will be my Drug Mule

    I’ve been married once before. It was over quick, but it was painful. In more ways than one … “Toon, I’m going to need you to, uh, put this up …” he said as he entered the bedroom, holding a green plastic cylindrical package of a cheap cigar from the …
  • A Fatalist at Heart

    A Fatalist at Heart

    I am a fatalist. Ask every friend. If you want to know how something can go wrong, just ask me. I will write you a story straight from a horror film. I’m that good. Take Lemon, my favorite drinking partner. We partied hard for about a year. On one particular …
  • Mother’s Day Meltdown

    Mother’s Day Meltdown

    They did everything right. I got to sleep in, breakfast was healthy and delicious, and the espresso was hot and fresh. We went for pedicures and had dinner with my family. At times, we were laughing so hard I was nearly crying – something that hasn’t happened with my family …